Last week, a former friend of mine (now probably better described as “facebook acquaintance”) got married. And I got angry. Not about her getting married, but about a ton of things surrounding it. Here’s my rant.
First, actually, she did not get married last week. Last week, she only put on a white dress and took part in some sort of putative magic ritual that is known as a Catholic wedding. In Germany, that has no legal consequences whatsoever. Yet, that day and not her actual legally binding wedding day (which was one or two weeks before that) is considered her wedding day. Just for background info: She was never a religious person and her husband isn’t even a member of any church.
Second, the fact that I learned about the wedding from facebook is final proof that our friendship is over. Not that I thought differently, but it hurts anyway. This is probably only a symptom of something bigger that I have to write about another day.
Third, in every f*****g facebook congrats message, people wrote about how beautiful she looked on her wedding day. I am aware that this is absolutely normal, but when you think about it for a second, how weird are these wedding congrats messages? “Congrats for tying down a man and looking nice.” (In case you were wondering: Yes, I find “Congrats for being x years old” also very weird once you start thinking about it. ) Interesting concept of achievement.
I could go on, but the bottom line is probably that I am somehow disgusted by the whole wedding business. And I am not even opposed to getting married! I just hate the mentality of living a life according to some supposedly binding plan that tells us that “the human life” consists in a series of events that have to be completed like levels in a video game, with getting married and having children being just two of those levels. Of course this is not the fault of this specific former friend. Her wedding just triggered my disappointment in so many people who seem to think that way.